A common misconception about tutoring is that it should be treated as a last resort. The combination of cost, scheduling conflicts, and the sheer mental load of being a child’s caregiver and adding “one more thing” to the to-do list can make tutoring seem unrealistic or even unnecessary. This sentiment is understandable, but it is also regrettable because tutoring is a layered investment – not only in your child’s academic future, but also in their self-esteem and self-perception. The tutoring sessions are temporary, but their outcome may have long-lasting effects on the student that they can carry into adulthood.
Although tutoring is not necessary for all students, some crucial signs may indicate it can be beneficial for your child. An important indication that additional support may be required in an academic subject is if the student is demonstrating unusually high levels of emotion towards a particular subject or their nightly homework assignments. Colloquially, teachers describe this as “I hate this” or “I don’t understand this” syndrome. Each child is unique in their emotional expressions and reactions, but if a student routinely refers to a specific class with a negative attitude, or they complain that a class “doesn’t make any sense,” it is usually a sign that the student is overwhelmed by the content and demands of that specific course. Even if the student is able to maintain a reasonable or acceptable average in that class, a tutor may be beneficial by providing support and lightening the mental burden for the student. In tutoring sessions, students receive external support and individual validation, which can be incredibly empowering and lead to the student feeling more in control and confident about the material.
If the negativity is more widespread or general in regards to homework, and each evening is devolving into a “battle” over assignment completion and preparing for assessments, that is typically a sign that the student could use support with their executive functioning, the set of neural pathways and brain functions that allow people to complete tasks and stay organized (1). Importantly, executive functioning pathways begin to develop in early childhood and progress through adolescence, but it is incredibly difficult to “rework” or “improve” one’s executive functioning once they reach adulthood, so being proactive and addressing concerns or lapses with your child’s organization is important (2). As a veteran secondary educator, I admire the parents who valiantly wage these nightly battles with their children with a persistent “get it finished” attitude, but these routine disagreements can be damaging to the parent-child relationship, and they do not necessarily teach the child how to build upon their fledgling executive functioning skills. This is where a tutor can be incredibly helpful.
Even children who dutifully complete their homework and other assignments without a “fight” or struggle may still benefit from tutoring. The second significant indication that your child may benefit from additional support is if they are exerting great amounts of effort and still not feeling successful in a particular subject. For example, a normal B-range student in most classes decides to focus on Spanish, spending more than an hour per evening on extra practice or completing assignments and review guides, and yet on the recent Spanish quiz, they earned a C or C-. Not only is this score an outlier compared to the other averages, but it does not align with the effort and time that is being put forth by the student. This discrepancy indicates a few different possibilities. Either the content is beyond the student’s ability on an individual level, or the student needs external support in managing how to study efficiently and in a way that suits their individual learning needs. These are different areas of difficulty, and both can be overcome with the individualized support provided by a tutor who can help the student identify how they can learn best.
So, the question remains that if tutoring is only academic, how can it be used as a tool to improve self-perception? The answer lies in the individualized instruction and support that a tutor can provide. Tutoring is incredibly powerful because it helps the student isolate their particular area of difficulty (content, executive functioning, presentation of information and dissemination, or recall and working memory, just to name a few), and attack it. Tutoring lightens the load of caregiving because it isolates the academics and learning needs from the parent-child relationship and provides the student with external validation that is individualized to them. As a result, students can feel successful and empowered in ways that will stay with them through their adolescence and into adulthood.
1 Knapp, K. S. (2024, April 4). Executive Functioning: Helping Children Learn Skills for Life. Brown University Health. Retrieved September 3, 2025, from https://www.brownhealth.org/be-well/executive-functioning-helping-children-learn-skills-life.
2 Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University (2011). Building the Brain’s “Air Traffic Control” System: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function: Working Paper No. 11. Retrieved August 31, 2025, from www.developingchild.harvard.edu.